Your Token Black Friend

Tokenism: the practice of making only a symbolic effort to do a particular thing, especially by recruiting a small number of people from underrepresented groups in order to give the appearance of sexual or racial equality within a workforce or friendship.The term microaggression was coined by Chester M Pierce of Howard University. It’s used to describe the hump before harsh realizations of discrimination. The responses in this post are mainly racially charged because it’s the most I’ve ever experienced. 

Aaand here we go!

No, I cannot braid your hair like (insert 2000s rapper here). You’ll probably look extremely silly anyway.

Thanks for your backhanded compliment, but Black people can be well spoken too.

Yeah, I like chicken, no that’s not funny. I’m sure you do too.

Yes, my hair was longer yesterday and today it’s a bit shorter. It’s called shrinkage.

Weave is not only a Black thing.

Yes, I can straighten my hair I just chose not to this week.

Not only do I know my father, but I live with him too! Thanks for your concern.

No, he didn’t go to prison or jail.

I refuse to teach you how to twerk.

That’s not how you use mad in a sentence.

Nope, that’s not how you use brick either.

Black people don’t even say fo’shizzle in real life…anymore.

Everything isn’t ghetto.

…What ISNT Shea Butter for?

Wu Tang is for the children. We can play this around them, I swear.

Ok, you know how your skin is dry when you get out of the shower? That’s what ashy is.

Oh no..a lot of us can swim, I swear.

There’s more to hip hop than trap music and top 40 so your argument is invalid.

I don’t do squats. I got it from soul food and genetics, sweetie.

You cannot use the n word. No variations of it either. I know some Black people say it. YOU can’t. Yeah well, life isn’t fair.

All of Brooklyn doesn’t look like Spike Lee Movies and Biggie videos.

No, there were rappers before biggie. No many… why don’t you believe me?

Oh, no I’m American.

No, my parents are not West Indian.

My grandparents aren’t either, they were born down south.

I’m 99% sure I’m not related to Dred Scott.

No, my parents didn’t give me a name similar to the greatest boxer because he’s black.

No, don’t play in my hair


Look, we just don’t get lice, okay?

No, Michael Jackson is just universally great.

No, these are collard greens not spina-yes I know they resemble each other but it tastes different.

Oh no, those are mustard greens.

Don’t call me your Black friend.

Ugh, I shouldn’t even have to explain why that’s rude

Sn: these are all questions I’ve been asked before. No exaggerations. Just thought I’d share my answers. If you guys think of funny things non-black folks have asked you, feel free to share!


5 thoughts on “Your Token Black Friend

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